Friday, Oct 15th 1999
As I sat alone on the grassy island gazing off into the vast nothingness of the ocean I began to wonder (not for the first time) how my life could have brought me to such an unlikely place. Convincing myself there was nothing I could have done differently I stood up from my sulking spot near the water's edge and peered down into the clear blue depths. Before I could make any rash decisions I heard a loud "POP" from just a few feet behind me.
Turning to confront the sound I see a dishevelled young wizard standing up off the ground and cursing aloud to himself. Looking into the air he shouts "Come on you guys this isn't funny!" and "Seriously, you can't leave me like this!". What a pathetic excuse for a wizard. I swear, they will let anyone into the Academy these days.
After the stranger was finished threatening the wind, he examined his surroundings and quickly spotted me. Clearly not expecting to see anyone else here, the wizard was startled and began preparing a Fireball spell Vas Flam.
Recognizing the incantation and fearing for my safety I speak up quickly: "Wait! I need help!"
Except as the words left my pig-bat throat they became: "WARGH! AGHH ITHALLP"
The young wizard was surprised by the sight of this unknown wailing and flailing hideous creature and fizzled his spell into a cloud of smoke. I only had a few moments to rectify my problems while the wizard pondered the situation, and so I did the only thing I could think of.... I died.