Friday, Oct 15th 1999
I ceased my cacophony of inhuman sounds and abruptly stopped dead while staring wide-eyed at this young wizard. Then, gathering every bit of my ingenuity and mongbatty goodness I fell limp to the ground clutching my chest as though struck with the might of a firestorm from the heavens. As my eyes crossed and tongue lolled out from my hairy face I let out one final "UUUUGUgghhhhhh uuhhhhhh".
The fool wizard, undoubtedly convinced of his indomitable might, began to make his way towards me. My eyes remained tightly closed and I laid motionless as he approached, stopping just out of reach. After minutes of silence I began to feel awkward and so I just had to see what the dolt was up to.
Cracking one eye open ever so slightly I see the wizard holding up a scroll and silently reading it's contents. Apparently my actions were less subtle than intended and the wizard caught the motion out of the corner of his eye and locked his focus back on me. With a slight chuckle he began to say encouraging words: "I've been looking for a companion like you." and "I promise to take good care of you."
What on earth was this lunatic doing? Take good care of me? What sort of nons-
"It would be mutually beneficial if we were to join forces."
Well I suppose that makes sense, we could leave this bloody island.
I decided to accept the help of this idiot merely until we were safe, and then I would be on my merry way.
The wizard seemed to acknowledge my acceptance and offered me a roast leg of lamb as a gesture of thanks. I gladly accepted and sat down on the grass to enjoy my hard-earned meal and began to think of a way to get off of the island.